Why I Don't Twitter, Text or Tweet

Every time I go out in public, I see teenagers furiously tapping away on their telephones.  I don't know if they are texting, tweeting, twittering, or doing God-knows-what, but all I know is, I certainly can't make my thumbs do that.  Perhaps there was some kind of mutation that allowed the Millenial Generation to text in a way that makes speaking obsolete and typing more efficient.  Whatever the reason, I don't have it.

In fact, my cell phone is for old guys.  It's not at all "smart", unless you consider dropping calls a wise decision.  It's a flip phone that is 5 years old, practically a dinosaur by modern standards.  I can text, although I prefer not to.  Perhaps it's just laziness, but typing is so much work, I'd rather just talk and be done with it.  Someone told me the other day that amongst the younger generation now, it is practically a breach of etiquette to call when you might otherwise text.  I missed this on the Emily Post column.  

I've never twittered, or tweeted, or whatever the hell you call it.  All I know is, it involves lots of typing on the telephone, lots of intrusive messages, and lots of work involving tiny screens--all of which I don't like.  It seems like such an investment--kind of like keeping up with the Real Housewives of Whatever or watching Dancing With The Stars.  I just don't have that kind of energy.

I am not knocking Twitter.  Apparently it was used to organize the Arab Spring protests which changed the course of history in the Middle East.  It is behind the organizational efforts of Occupy Wall Street, which I endorse.  Perhaps the effectiveness of Twitter was that it was a way for the young to organize under the noses of the older generation running things.  The older generation had slower thumbs, so they lost their power.

Maybe that is why these things are for the young.  Only a 14 year old can keep up with the Kardashians.  In this new age of technology, even 30 somethings can be easily left behind.  The pace of change seems to be accelerating.  After all, I am a member of the Gen X generation, the last generation to get through high school without the Internet.  I remember the card catalog at the library, rotary dial telephones, and Saturday morning cartoons.  

I can only imagine how things will be in ten more years.  Perhaps I will be considered a fogey because I don't have a computer chip embedded in my brain like everyone else.  I will still be pining for the days of my flip phone, rested thumbs, and unfatigued eyes.

Whatever the case, somehow I have a feeling the revolution won't be televised.  It will be tweeted, and I'll probably miss it.